Authentic Self Explored

Risk. Play. Create.

These are my tenents. As a writer, an artist, as a traveler and most of all, as a human being. My art, my relationships, my authenticity depends on this creed. It’s far too easy for an adult to forget these three tenants. For a child, it’s natural. Second nature–no, first nature. So this blog isn’t about learning something new–it’s about remembering.


An artist stands before a blank canvas. He has an idea. For some, sketches have been prepared as meticulous as an architect’s blueprints. For others, it’s just a feeling. The paint tubes have been squeezed, the palette heavy, the paintbrush loaded. The artist takes a breath, holds it…the first line—that moment when brush meets canvas and artist meets world.
All of us have that moment. Whether we’re pilots or professors, truck drivers or teachers, all of us must find where to begin. We must grasp the door knob, turn our wrist and step into our world. We do –or don’t do it every day. In thought, conversation, in relationship, in our profession, in the way we play and discover life. When is the moment we enter—fully present—fully ourselves and offer our authentic gifts to the world?
That’s all we have to give. That’s all that sets us apart. Authentic self.

What led to this thought is the creation of White Iris, the story I’ve written about M., a woman who quits her life and leaves her fiancée and finds herself in the South of France with the apparition of Vincent Van Gogh—reliving his life—the decadent highs and devastating lows. Her search is to discover his first line—his way in—how he became so defined that most people could spot a Van Gogh among other works of art within seconds. That kind of authenticity came at a price. Is that the only way—or can anyone step through the door?
This blog is dedicated to all who search for their first line.

 It will explore the arts, how we think and process, thoughts about risk and reward, play and exploration, about what it’s like to keep pushing through when no reward is in sight except the drive to continue because what’s the alternative? It’s about faith and lack of faith—in ourselves, in the journey, in blueprints and gut intuition, in the power of getting lost, failing, faulting, and finding our way back. We’ll travel the world for mavericks, mentors, and madmen. It’s about creating–creating ourselves, our lives, creating what we’ve come to understand–and trusting what we don’t.
At some point I hope you notice as you step over threshold after threshold.

You’ll feel the give of the brush on the weave of the canvas and you will cross over.

Your authentic self will rise up to greet you and your first line will appear.

Quote of the day:
“Many painters are afraid in front of the blank canvas, but the blank canvas is afraid of the real, passionate painter who dares and who has broken the spell of `you can’t’ once and for all.”

(Letter to Theo van Gogh, October 1884)



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5 responses to “Authentic Self Explored

  1. These are some very interesting thoughts
    That Van Gogh quote holds so much truth

  2. As a writer, I understand what you mean about the creative process. I look forward to reading more!

  3. Keisen

    I’m telling you this out of genuine kindness and respect for you as a writer.

    A blog is a hint of one’s talents as a writer and publishers will judge you (and the work you’re sending around for publication) based on your blog. If your first sentence is defective in some way, any way, it’s unlikely they’ll read further.

    “Risk. Play. Create. These are my tenants.”

    Tenet: a belief, opinion, doctrine, etc.
    Tenant: someone who occupies a portion of your home and pays you rent.

    I hope you will forgive me pointing this out.

    • Thanks for pointing it out–and for doing so in a kind way.
      That’s what happens when you run spell check and then don’t check it yourself–again!
      I’ve corrected it.
      Hope you’ll keep reading.

  4. very much looking forward to looking at this 🙂 seems like you have some interesting notions. also featured on the front of /writing already ! jealous !

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